mkmma week 21 What are you resisting?

Larger thoughts over powers small thoughts…Big thinking destroys petty thinking. When we think along the lines of the bigger picture, the small shrinks and becomes a do not matter. Sounds familiar doesn’t it.

Silence is the key Haanel states. The key is in the silence. Seek to see the truth in the silence. I find clutter. So much clutter. Don’t argue with the mind you will never win. Shifting focus. Breathing in consciously the abundance of the infinite and turn away from the noise. Don’t deal with the noise. I get a rush that goes through me every time I breathe with consciousness.

Amazing this week was the trait of enthusiasm in the character makeover for me. Enthusiasm wrapped up with kindness. If fainting, faltering, weakening I would think enthusiasm and energy returned. Amazing. Breathing in consciously and feeling more connected.

I have really discovered this week that when I struggle against the negative I cannot find a way out. When I release the resistance created by trying, there is a softening and a letting go and things change. I see the struggle so much more clearly. What I resist, persists!!

ON Wednesday night I went out to sing. I chose my song, reached for my back up of words and my chart and only the chart was there. I am moving into the realm of electronic and so I was standing in the middle of both electronic and written. As I reached and realized I was without my security blanket (I did not know) my hear started to pound. I was really uncomfortable, disjointed, nervous. Instead of gently replacing a positive thought for another I attempted not feeling what I was feeling. Resistance! I got up on stage and never got grounded, forgot my words and felt very disconnected as I searched to get through the mud. It took me days to see what had happened for me. Wow what a lesson!

I let go and I let God!

Resistance does not serve me and a sure sign of it is when I feel I am struggling!! So I can ask the question what am I resisting?

 

 

BEING and Becoming Mkmma Week 19

What we focus on grows. What we forget about atrophies! Without exception!

This week I watched a movie called, The Abundance Factor! Though there are many things I “know” and we “know”. The embodiment of that is something else, which is our journey in the heroes journey for sure.

I had a jaw dropping moment several times and one things stands out clearly for me! The line was something like this!

We spend alot of our energy focusing on “fixing” instead of stepping into the creation of the life we want! 

I have prided myself at being a skilled problem solver or solution finder. Two thoughts, opposite side of same coin and not the coin that fits into the slot of moving forward into the life of my dreams. It is a valuable tool in my business and so many others as well! So what do I do with that? Nothing! I seek another perspective to pull me forward in the realm of business. This will be my meditation for the rest of the week until I find it! This is truly exciting! All of this is so big I want to write it all in caps! LOL

In the realm of my dharma and bliss of bringing Joy INspiration and Beauty to other people’s lives (JIB) I begin to become that and it naturally leaks out. The more I step into that, the more I am fed through the static thought of Universal Mind (GOD) seeking expression. When I stand in alignment with that, I can hardly contain what I feel. It exists without doing. It exists in BEING and cannot help but show up in some kind of action. It shows up in my massage business. It shows up in my relationships. It shows up in my NWM business. It is expressed n writing, singing, laughing, smiling, cooking, dancing…etc….everything!

Bare with me as I process this. As I focus on creation, problems become challenges, become opportunities, become road bumps, become blips. Part of the whole and not the whole. Part of the journey! I don’t need to fix anything to get to where I want to go. I don’t have to get this road block or that road block out of the way because I am already all that I need to be and more. I have everything I need inside of me. I am perfect in all my imperfection and despite and beyond all of that, I am more than enough. I am nature’s greatest miracle! (Intellectually I have nodded my head to that alot! Embodied not so much.)

Desiring to bring joy, beauty and inspiration to others is NOT a TRY to impact others. It is a BEING that! It is not a how do I do that…it is not logical. The effort or try leaves and the being can flow. Those that receive it, receive it! It is not my concern, my business. It is also not about me changing to reach more people. It is about me becoming and the people that are my connection can and do show up. Though I have to tell you I am ready to explode and break into another snoopy dance!!

As I step into creation I cannot help but be in a place of service!! As I allow the expression of Universal mind flow through me, it is natural!

I always thought that living my bliss of music and creative expression came with choosing poverty. I saw it as fun and selfish as I mentioned before in a past blog. I thought i needed to choose a harder path. That I could not have it ALL. One or the other and it is not! Let me explain that. If my belief is to that to live my bliss I would be impoverished! I make it true. If I choose to not live into my bliss, I am even more impoverished for I have robbed myself and the world of the person I was meant to be and much much more…another blog on that! I have then robbed myself of all the joy, inspiration and beauty that is mine to experience.

A life seeking validation and fulfillment through money is shallow, sad and empty. Never enough. A spiritual deadening of senses, addictions, depression, anger but only a few of the possible consequences. A life lived in quiet desperation! And quite frankly if I believed  in only just financially surviving that would show up regardless of what I chose to do!

Lastly, I believed again I could have one or the other! Bliss or success!

TO LIVE INTO YOUR BLISS, IS NOT TO LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND! IT IS TO BRING YOUR BLISS TO YOUR WORLD AND TRANSFORM IT! WHAT IS YOUR BLISS?

back to you

 

Week 18 Mkmma ongoing journey

This week I have started organizing thoughts so I can better put a plan together. I have listed groupings so far and then what things fit into those categories.

I am in the place of realizing I have to be way different than I am being now to really achieve what I am seeing on my list…I must say I am overwhelmed at the undertaking.

There are parts of my life that are working and then other parts that are not getting attention. I shift and pay attention to those and then the others don’t get attention.

I have been focusing on the mind set and getting done what I could and there is so much missing in action to make stuff change…I keep deleting words as the architecture is the power of our lives…and I keep thinking about a line I heard Mark say about a guy following him through his day and asking so are we going to get anything done today and Mark said we already have. I am seeking that! How do I exponentially impact everything? How can I have it all? There are only so many hours in a day and I seem busier now than ever. When I think about it, I can’t see it. Don’t make to do lists I hear as they never end. I make to do lists and try and put things in my schedule…its been a moving target! LOL

I decided again to step it up and yesterday hurt my back to the point that sitting or laying is not comfortable at all. I cancelled another day of work as I could not function anymore. I went to the chiro and an osteopath today. Not complaining…wondering what is up! Laid on the couch trying to relax and watched some videos. I have no tv, but do watch DVDs. Knowing there is so much for me to “do”. Including writing my blog!..and all I want to do is lay there. I am far from lazy and am always on the go. Bruce calls me the ever ready bunny!

One week of absolute breakthrough a few weeks ago. A glimpse into what was possible. The harmony, the love, the gratitude and since then stumbling almost blindly. Getting things done but barely. No one does it without mastermind. A big part I have not been utilizing well. When I am having a rough time I really hate telling my partner about it!! I want to be uplifting and supportive. I don’t want to be a drag to talk to.

So sharing some of my difficulty here. Hopefully I will get some feedback and I will get into the mastermind and give.

Internet issues will be over in a few days and then there will be an abundance and time with wifi will aid in me getting on and sharing anytime.

 

do it now

mkmma Week 17b or 18 which is it!?

Do you entertain the darkness or does the darkness entertain you? That went from a very simple profound question to one with much more depth. My brain just went Whhhhhat? You expect me to answer that question? NO I was only asking!

vanishing light2

I touch the darkness and it sucks me into its warm dark cocoon. The illusion of comfort gone, as the light quickly vanishes from sight.

I wallow in the thick goo of it, wandering without eyes to see that I am in it! Encased, encompassed, and swallowed; unaware and suddenly out of nowhere I hear a voice! “Hey, choose something else!” It’s my voice, my new subby pulling me out of the quicksand of self-pity!

Profound observance moment! I have experienced much resistance again this week! You know I believe I am truly onto something big when there is all this resistance. I have allowed the old subby to suck me in…and I’ll get started again 100% tomorrow. I am too tired, too busy, too anything…as I kicked it up a notch this week and as soon as I did that I got slammed!

I did not see that until now that I am writing. Wow! That is sooooo cool! Ha, I know “we” can overprint, override, breakthrough this. The darkness breaks like a puzzle being pulled apart and preparing for a new world being created.

puzzle light

As the observer I am large, a piece of the greatness who created me! Divinely blessed. I am natures greatest miracle and am created to be as big as a mountain, not small like a grain of sand!

This I need to remember especially right now as I feel am about to blow up! Technology is my friend…repeat, repeat, repeat and breathe!!…keep the light shining !  Its ok! It’s a challenge to grow!!

Week 17 Oceans Tide mkmma

underwater_scene_by_qzr1

 

Water…deep blue, bottomless, infinite knowing. Creation, development and the roll of the waves. Flow, expression, touching the deepest part of me.

Yearning, longing for more and not knowing…What? Deep inside, searching for the kingdom. All things added from here!

Nothing means nothing for what we make it mean. Observation in stillness, hearing the noise of the silence. Deafening!

I reach through auditory senses and seek more sound. Why? To find the river beneath. The river of silence beneath the cacophony of noise. A flash of light, emptiness that is full…of nothing and everything. Blindingly beautiful, I see nothing and feel everything. Physicality my friend, my vessel which is my gateway to the outside world! Spirit my gateway to all that is! Omnipotence, omnipresence, infinite!

I buzz! Vibrate quietly. My mouth twists into a mischievous upward tilt. I cannot describe…ahhh wait. Its presence to the now, this very moment. A pirouet, in a white dress, my face shining up to the sun, free…everything shades of white and touches of cerulean blue. Brilliant peace, love and joy! The kind of joy that rolls like a peaceful sea on a calm summers day! Full and gentle and deep and embracing

ocean2

Its been a very interesting week! Its funny how sometimes I think I’m at the end and really its always the middle until I pass on and then is it really the end? I don’t think so.

Ok so back to the interesting week.

A couple days came like they were in charge and they were…and I did nothing to bring them back under control. Well nothing that worked anyway! Now I see that all as a gift! Ha, imagine that…imagine if we could see every moment as it was as a gift that it is. Thats why its called the present! I loved that the first time I heard it. Now I see it with such gratitude.

So those couple days I felt lost, meaningless, sad and tired. Empty, so tired. It was not desolation but like the life had been sucked out of me and I needed rest.

I thought about what the next step would be. What were my plans? My plans of action to take me in the direction of my worthwhile dream and suddenly, it became not enough! All wrong again and this time I observed! Hmmmm what was this that was going on? Instead of getting caught up in the parade I asked and I watched.Then I remembered, its simple. Its about bringing joy inspiration and beauty to 100,000’s of thousands of peoples lives and all I needed was the next step and I have it. I needed to dive in head first into the ocean of exploration and practice. To become the greatest version of the grandest vision of me in creative expression of music! My expression, given to me by the creator to create space for others to live into their version of the grandest vision of them! Ha, let the day run away with itself and I will watch it chase its tail until it’s done. Like God waits for me until I’m done spinning my wheels and chasing my tail and he smiles!!

Week 16 mkmma Natures greatest miracle

So ohhhhhhh…..what an amazing week! Kindnesses, noticing and giving kindnesses. I could not keep up to all that is flowing my way.

People are beating me to opening doors to smiling and well wishing! I am meeting more eyes and more sparkles.

I left a small amount of change on a meter yesterday…now that I have more change I desire to leave more.

I am feeling more generous as I am thinking about how to be prepared when going out or leaving a restaurant dt to make sure I have money easy access to give.

It began before the awareness of the week. If you look at my blog from last week you can see and get a sense of the joy in my heart.

Kate Unger

I had a gig last saturday and still under the weather physically…a throat that was not full on and phlegm like you would not believe sitting at the back of my throat.

As I sang I thought not of it and felt in love with everyone and such huge gratitude. I made it my mission to pour this out to everyone including my band. As the person who gets the most accolades is the front person and the band does not so much; I made sure the band was lifted and honoured right from the very beginning. So the audience could understand they were the foundation for me to stand on and what they did is carry me!!!

When it was over I felt not the way I have in the past after a performance or a play I had acted in. In the past I felt empty, sad, depressed, let down, deflated.

This time and every time going forward I will focus on the true reason and importance of my song is to elevate the audience. To give love. This time I felt like never before. I felt full, fulfilled, thankful, humbled and honoured! The stature is not look and listen to me, but what can I give to you!